just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
