If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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