Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
