12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
