is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dignity is for republicans.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
