Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
