I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
