My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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