Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His hands were made for my vagina.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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