I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
