I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's blow job season.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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