is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
