just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
