I'm drive I can fine osifer
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
