so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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