Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
