It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
