Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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