I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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