So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
