Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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