Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
