Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
