Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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