If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
