but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
