and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
