Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I wish I only lived at night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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