I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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