My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
