I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
