theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
