my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
