M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
