ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
