i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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