my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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