Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
