ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
