bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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