Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
honey bunches of taint.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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