Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
