My cat gives me a boner
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
