i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
