when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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