so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
