Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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