Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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