we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
