So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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