some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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