The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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