May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
