I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
