The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
