Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
