He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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